Maybe it’s a man thing but I could never get excited when the dessert menu was placed in front of me. I would skip it, if I had my way.
I share a house with four females. I can safely say the only thing they have in common is a love for desserts and all things sweet.
Last summer my wife and I were celebrating our twenty year anniversary. We didn’t make it public knowledge, probably because I don’t like publicity. In fairness, neither does my wife, I think.
We took a family holiday with a difference. We retraced our honeymoon steps. Don’t get excited, there was neither a coconut nor a grass skirt in sight.
We got married in 1993. There were no mobile phones, nor internets, nor skype nor anything. All we had were our imaginations, four wheels, and a map of Ireland. Plus, just about enough money to take us around the Island (I forgot to mention, no credit cards either). It was a great trip until we reached County Waterford, at which point my new wife got homesick.
It came about when she was looking at the map. Our county, Donegal, is at the far corner from Waterford. So the following day we made a beeline for home. She marked out the whole trip with a pencil, on a map, as we drove; no Sat-Navs either.
Last year we took that very same map on our family trip. She keeps everything! It sounds totally romantic. It was! And it was my idea…for once! The girls enjoyed the trip but not as much as we did, back in the day; Remind me to tell you about the chocolate peanuts in Killarney.
The girls informed us that we were either delusional or flat out mad! The trip was a waste of their time and diesel in our little campervan, as far as they were concerned. Kids!
Getting back to desserts, I don’t care either way. But my better half would slice my throat if I declined dessert on night out. The idea is, she gets both desserts. Not that she’s greedy. It’s me. I don’t have a sweet tooth. I will happily skip on to the cup of tea at the end. All dinners in Ireland end with tea. True!
I remember a dinner during our honeymoon. It was a real swanky gaff; the moment I sat down a waiter landed at our table and before I could say “Easy on, Buddy!” he had whisked the napkin from off the plate in front of me and swished it onto my lap…in one fell swoop. I don’t condone this practice but I have to admit it was like a Kung Fu master plucking the still beating heart from a bad ass in a Bruce Lee movie. This dude was fast!
We ate like a Lord and a Lady. For afters she ordered Black Forest Gateau. The kick to my shin indicated that I would be having the same. The desserts arrived and for once, she could not finish both of them! I ate the remainder but I couldn’t bring myself to swallow the cherries. To be honest I sucked the chocolate from them, and left a half dozen shiny red cherries on my plate.
Our waiter must have seen this male/female taste bud behaviour before, because upon his arrival he announced “Oh this is great. These same cherries have lasted three days of being sucked clean. We can use them yet again.” He winked at me.
My wife, the one who ate lots of cherries, started to gag. Women! Where is a hidden camera when you need one? The waiter put his hand on her shoulder and goes “My dear Lady, I joke with you.” In his, Italian accent (I think it was Italian).
To this day, she still orders Black Forest Gateau. An addict will blank all negativities just to get the high.
The second honeymoon was great. But that’s a story for another prompt. Right WordPress?
Thank you for reading,