The Emperor’s new clothes.

Jealously is a female trait.

I can state this with confidence because I am married to one. Some of the things that go on inside the female mind, you would not believe.

Jealousy isn’t an emotion. It’s a disease!

For instance, let’s take a typical car journey. To anywhere. Into town, even.

We are passing some females, jogging, in their lycra shorts.

I spot them before she does. WRONG! She has spotted them long before me.

As we pass them she goes “The one on the inside…is my bum bigger than hers, or would you say the same size?”

Listen up guys, she left out the third option. It’s a trap. Always answer with the third option.

“Hers isn’t big. But yours is smaller.” And I say it with a straight face! I will burn in hell yet.

Leaving my good wife and her tiny bum out of it for a while, let me tell you about some of the females from my job.

I could be delivering to one of my usual grocery stores and happen to strike up a conversation with a girl from the shop next door, while she is out having a cigarette break or whatever. If she happens to make me laugh, God have mercy on her.

“I see you were chatting to that one next door.”

“Yeah, she is funny.” I would answer.

“Don’t be fooled by her. Sometimes she comes in here, to our shop, and she has no manners whatsoever! So cheeky!”

The thing is, I would already have copped on that she was cheeky. Ladies…guys notice things too. We can sort the nice from the nasty.

I have asked my wife just now if she thinks I am a jealous person. She answered “No, definitely not.”

I can’t speak for anybody but myself. I don’t think I suffer from jealousy. I believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I would like to be somewhere else, like a full time writer, but I have a feeling I am right where I am meant to be.

I admire people who succeed in attaining their dream lifestyle. But sometimes I think there is something they are sacrificing. Perhaps even sacrificing normality.

Normality is good, most of the time.

There is a first time for everything. I notice other bloggers ask questions, from time to time. This is my first question. You can lable it jealousy, or stupidity or whichever.

I am only here six weeks and I have missed a lot. Why do some posts which only contain perhaps three sentences get hundreds of Likes?

I am guessing those bloggers have proven their worth umpteen times in the past. But would I be crucified in asking Where are the emperor’s clothes?

I mean I have seen posts which go “Got up this morning. I feel great.” or something like that which have over one hundred Likes in the space of a few hours. Are these homeless people who deserve credit for making a remark like that?

I am not trying to rock the boat. Just interested, jealously, I mean genuinely.

Thank you for reading,


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30 thoughts on “The Emperor’s new clothes.

  1. Haha! Where ARE the emperor’s clothes?? My question exactly. Is it possible they’ve bugged other blogs to get automated likes? <that sounds so techie-intellectual, I'm almost believing it.

  2. Dude, I ask myself that same question every day. The simple teuth is it isnt about quality but-and this is only in my honest opinion-quantity in cyberspace. So many people are on every social network and spend their days connecting, liking other posters and twit, tweet, face off, circle one another, stumble and tumble until their fingers bleed and their eyes cross. I was JUST like you are about a month ago. Oh, I had a good following but NO one ever commented no matter what I said or did. Then an amazing thing happened. I started talking a lot to other people on their blogs and looking for other bloggers on blogs I already followed, especially if the post was something I really appreciated, it is how I found your blog! And look at us now. πŸ˜‰
    No I don’t have hundreds of hits or likes, but the number of people to visit has definitely increased and I have so happy with the quality of conversation and feedback I am getting. But yeah…I still wonder about those hit and run posts. Maybe they get lots of likes from lots of lay folks who don’t want to read at all. Just point and shoot. Please don’t stop what you are doing. It makes my day to red one of your wonderful stories..

    • Did you say Sangria or was it Speed? πŸ™‚
      I agree totally Cheryl. Maybe it comes with years and experience. I think you should get your artistic brushes and pencils out, and design a new motto for folks our age….”It’s not about the Likes.”
      I can see it on tee shirts, my friend.
      Go for it. We have just patented it. πŸ™‚
      In the morning, of course πŸ™‚

      • Of course! Great idea!I already came up with my own slogan awhile back, after experiencing frustration over writing and feeling invisible. I was told I needed to market myself better. I also read some highly popular work that was really mediocre. I decided then and there that the truth seemed to be that, “it’s not about what you do well but how well you market what you do.” Yes, tomorrow will be good. πŸ™‚ love the tee shirt slogan idea. We’ll get a million likes for it…haha. We can call the company Blood and Guts.

  3. Pingback: Daily prompt: Jealousy | The Wandering Poet

  4. Sorry Frankie but that “female trait” you mentioned, I looked and yep, I’m still female but I don’t have that trait. lol I see all these other bloggers with millions of followers and likes by the thousands and can’t figure out how come I have only 2. πŸ™‚ I’m agree with Helen, if it’s marketing, I’m toast. As always, loved your writing.

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  6. LOVE the irony. Envy, I’m told, is different from jealousy. I am told the distinction is wanting what someone else has vs. wanting to keep what’s yours and thinking you’re about to lose it… and lose it. Anyway, if you write for likes, you’re screwed.

    Here’s my jealousy story…Sears with the ex (second husband). We’d been married two years. Not going well. We were picking out flowers for a garden I was planting (my first). This necessitated bending over. Everyone was bending over. Woman near by bending over. Tits. Husband, mesmerized, like he’s never seen them before. I’m furious. We get in the car but I can’t stay in the car with him. I’m too mad. “I have ’em too,” I say, “not like YOU’RE interested.” To be fair, he wasn’t. “Let me out. I’ll walk!”

    I taught him a HUGE lesson. I walked a mile and a half home and he drove. I showed HIM! πŸ™‚

    • I bet he never did that again! Way to go, Martha πŸ™‚
      It is tempting to write for likes but it always sounds fake. The words never click together properly for me.
      It’s just some posts I click on because it seems very popular. Sometimes the post deserves all the likes, but sometimes I read it twice and wonder what I missed.

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  8. Love it, Frankie – and you have bravely pointed out the elephant in the blogging room/the Emperor’s New Clothes! I sometimes feel as if I have, inadvertently, gone down Alice’s rabbit hole when I am on here. There is a weirdness, a Cheshire Catness, a veritable gallimaufry of Tweedles, Dum, Dee and Even Dumber – and the whole thing is reminiscent of the most lurid trip on the old Waccy Baccy (not, you understand, that I have any first-hand experience of same! Moi?!). Ali x

  9. There’s something very smart about your writing. The way I see it is a little cynical and a little naive at once. There’s a theory that we don’t read stuff on line. So sometimes there’s a ‘like’ because Its someone you follow. If you’re in a hurry then you want to be supportive. Crazy but true.

    • I understand.
      I have done it myself, I’m sure.
      I remember one time I used to have a facebook page devoted to unfair taxes in Ireland. Each post would be very popular. (Maybe approx 50 likes).
      Then one time I posted something politically controversial. It was about the boston marathon bombings being a setup. I think it only got one like. πŸ™‚
      The following post I was back to normal and the likes were also. I find it very hard to predict people sometimes.
      I think perhaps you are correct. It’s all about the support.

      • Ahhhh! That’s a different thing. I see that in my Facebook all the time. Cuddly cat picture a hundred likes. Controversial political topic bit one! I also think it’s about writers and readers though. Some write blogs and comments some don’t write!

      • Oh yes. I think it’s like a party. Some of us will have a lot to say while some will nurse their wine quietly whilst smiling and nodding. Underneath they may be disagreeing.

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  11. Likes, Likes, Likes….First off, I enjoyed reading everyone’s thoughts on ’em! And it always reminds me that it doesn’t matter how old/wise one is…but the system of awarding “likes” puts us all back in grade school:) I shudder to think that one day, there will actually be a “hate” button. Eek. I wouldn’t put it past some social media climber to put that into the system…

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